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It begins with... well, we can't tell you how Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots begins. We can't, and we won't. Can't, because we promised Konami we wouldn't; having generously granted us three days to play through the whole thing, the publisher is understandably paranoid about spoilers, with the game still six weeks from release. Won't, because we want you to feel exactly the same delicious, hair-raising mix of bemused awe and shock-of-the-new that we did when you turn it on for the first time. Metal Gear Solid 4, it is instantly apparent, is special. It's not like other games.
Hideo Kojima and his team really have outdone themselves. 'Extravagant' doesn't cover it. Nor do 'dramatic', 'spectacular', 'sentimental', 'surprising', 'long-winded', 'final', 'painstaking' or 'polished'. Guns of the Patriots is Metal Gear Solid in excelsis.
Anyone who's familiar with the series - and any less than a rabid fan - will know that this is a mixed blessing. You have to put up with a lot to appreciate the fruits of Kojima's very personal and stubborn brand of auteur genius. This was never more true than it is of Metal Gear Solid 4. You have to subvert or repress many of your natural gaming instincts to safely negotiate its coldly exacting gameply, and you have to leave the pad untouched through hour after hour of exposition and sermonising in cut-scenes and codec conversations. The latter take up a quite staggering proportion of the game's length; think the infamous MGS2: Sons of Liberty, and you won't be far wrong.
Only once you appreciate this do you understand what a great visual achievement the game is, because only in the cut-scenes do you get close enough to truly appreciate how flawless, gorgeous and magnetically charismatic the in-game character models are, how exquisitely animated and well-rooted in their world. Yes, some textures are surprisingly low-resolution; yes there are aliasing issues and flickering shadows. But overall, Guns of the Patriots is handsome, moody and achingly cool, a real swoon-inducing matinee idol of a game. There's some terrific music, too.
The mission briefing is a kind of interactive entertainment that only Hideo Kojima could have come up with. It's pointless and overlong but also a strangely spellbinding kind of downtime for player and writers alike, giving the game's characters time to breathe with some gentle comic interplay and moments of tenderness, and bridging the gap between cut-scene and game. You might end up frustrated with the amount of time you spend just watching Metal Gear Solid 4, but its cinematic side is so deeply embedded in the game this time that it makes for a much more coherent whole.
It's not a shooter and it never will be, but MGS4 serves up the best gunplay in the series by some distance, effectively shown off by a confrontation with Haven Troopers, also known as Frogs, in the first act. These genetically-modified female soldiers can jump vast distances and cling to walls, and are Liquid Snake's private guard (the act has Snake hunting down Liquid in a Middle Eastern city destroyed by war between a local militia and a military contractor).
There are more traditional forms of disguise, too. Snake can change costume to a militia outfit - a hooded robe that bears a striking resemblance to that worn by a certain other master of evasion - which helps him infiltrate the militia's lair. Ultimately he will win enough of their trust to fight alongside them without this disguise.
The options are there - Metal Gear Solid 4, while hardly free-form or non-linear, almost overwhelms you with choice when it comes to the nitty-gritty detail of progress. The ease of use is there in the design, the controls, the display, the new gadgets and systems. The rarefied thrill of a new Kojima Productions game on new PlayStation hardware, every stage of it lavished with crazy ideas, post-modern jokes and sumptuous production values, is most definitely there.
That's Metal Gear Solid for you. No-one ever suggested this one would be fundamentally different, and nor should it be; we should have the good grace to let Old Snake see his story through to its conclusion in his inimitable style. To know how satisfying that conclusion is overall, and how well the game stands up in the long run, you'll have to wait for our review. But we still won't tell you what happens in it, because that would spoil everything that's special about this most remarkable, highly unusual gaming event.